Who I Go To For Parenting Advice (And Why!)

Last night I was texting with my cousins Kris, who is pregnant with her first baby, and Steph, who has two young kiddos of her own, when the subject of birthing books was brought up. Kris asked us if we had read those types of books while we were pregnant, and if we recommend that she read one before having her baby. Steph’s response was golden: “Giving birth is easy. Parenting is f*$&#^g hard.”

Laugh out loud. So true! (Okay – except for the fact that giving birth isn’t easy, per say. We’ll just label it as much more short lived compared to the whole parenting thing.)

It was a timely conversation, because it made me think about parenting advice in general. From birthing questions to “What the heck do I do about tantrums?”, it’s important as ~~mothers~~ parents to be able to go to others who we trust and talk openly about our questions, concerns, thoughts and even funny stories.….Which is why I’m so excited for another round of the motherhood series! Today I’m teaming up with Shaheen and (new to the series, one of my very dear friends for years, and new mama to her sweet baby Harlow!) Arin to tackle the latest topic: Who, when and why do you ask for help? (Poor Kelly has been caring for a sick Emma so she’s sitting out this round but will be joining next time! This flu/cold season is no joke!)

Psst – If you’re new here, the motherhood series is an ongoing column where we tackle different topics pertaining to motherhood. It’s so much fun to get the different perspectives from different bloggers, and I love the ladies involved so much! Be sure to swing by Shaheen and Arin’s posts, read their take on this round’s topic, and show them some love!

Okay, back to the question. I have two sides of me when it comes to advice.

On one hand, I’m an open book. What you see is what you get — I’m usually pretty straight-forward and open about most topics, especially motherhood, and have no shame in admitting where I need help, asking others for thoughts/opinions, and sharing my own as well.

And yet, there are definitely things I tend to keep closer to the chest. Especially when issues involve my kids, I don’t love to air grievances for anyone to know and comment on. It’s not that I don’t value their opinions, it’s just that I internally deal with tough issues on a more introspective level. I think, talk to key people (below), research, then act. In those instances, when I do share, it’s usually from a “reflection” point of view. (For example, you may not have known that I had a hard time going back to work after maternity leave while I was going through it, but once I was out of the thick of feeling emotional, I was able to reflect objectively and so that’s when I chose to share things more broadly.)For me it’s not as simple as, “Here’s a list of the exact people that I go to for everything.” A lot depends on context, and what I’m inquiring advice about. All that said, here are my go-to people for parenting advice. From the good to the bad, they’ve got me covered. (Love you!)

Doug – He’s the first person I go to, always, parenting advice or not. Especially with matters involving our girls. We strategize. We laugh about how we don’t know what we’re doing sometimes. We argue about who knows best. We come to solutions. We gaze at our girls in awe about how much we’ve learned. I don’t want to gush, but really, how lucky am I to have such a wonderful, supportive partner who constantly grows with me? Buuuut sometimes we disagree, and in that case…
My parents – When it comes to parenting, they’ve got great points of views; I know that I can count on them for objective, upfront, no BS advice. Which I love, even if I disagree with it on occasion. My parents are who I go to for pretty much everything advice-related, especially if it’s emotional. I know I can cry or vent, and they won’t judge me at all.
My family – I’m fortunate to have cousins that are like sisters, step-parents and siblings who I’ve long since dropped the “step” from their title, and a brother who’s always had my back. I also adore Doug’s family, am besties with his parents, and consider his siblings like my own, too. Good people, you know? We’re all super close and talk/text almost daily, which often includes topics about parenting. Even if it’s sharing photos or life updates.
Our pediatrician – Literally talk to her on the regular; from questions on poop color (actual phone call one time) to scary emergencies like when Josephine had an allergic reaction at 5 weeks, our pediatrician is amazing. She provides rational, educated information. The internet is a scary place with way too many people labeling themselves as “experts” — I’ve gone the route of trusting a select few knowledgable professionals (of course while doing my own due diligence as well!), and it’s made all the difference in the world.
My best friends – My tried and true girls. You know who you are. Whether they’re parents themselves or not, they’re always there for me and my family. I’ll definitely go to friends who are mothers on questions pertaining to recent experiences with their own kiddos, but I also love to get the opinions of friends who don’t have kids; I think sometimes as a mom I can get in the weeds, and I value having different perspectives.
Bloggers who I trust – I love when fellow bloggers open up and share their experiences with readers; it’s so refreshing and relatable. (I hope to be that type of blogger here, too!) Of course, bloggers like Arin, Kelly and Shaheen are a given, but I also love reading A Cup of Jo’s motherhood posts, and Liz (a personal bestie of mine!) always has lovely motherhood reads, too.
You! – Alright, I know this may sound odd, but I seriously adore the community surrounding this blog. Many of us have messaged on social or email, and I truly feel like I have a relationship with my readers, which is something absolutely invaluable. I’ve openly asked for advice in many instances, which has been received with outpours of support and words of wisdom. I value it more than you know and always love hearing from you! (Thank you!)