My Top 5 Breastfeeding Tips (After 3 Kids!)
If I could pick a phrase for the journey that is breastfeeding, it would be this: “Wild ride.”
…And by wild, I don’t mean the, “This is so much fuuuuun!” kind. I mean the, “I know nothing. What am I doing? WHY CAN’T I FIGURE THIS OUT? WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!” kind.
“Wild” of the mind-trip variety. Let me explain.
With Beau now 4 months old, I’m currently in the thick of baby days with my third child. I’m happy to say that breastfeeding, this time around, is going well. Which is a surprising relief because it was tough with both Grace and Josephine. Why was it so hard with Grace and Josephine, and going well with Beau? Lots of reasons that I’ll dive into below, but overall when I reflect upon this I’ve come to a conclusion that was revolutionary in my understanding of breastfeeding: I’ve found for it to be as much about the baby as it is about the mother.
I’ll let that sit for a moment.
How My Babies Have Been Fed
For me to correctly explain the context of what I mean by that prior statement, I feel the need to provide some history of my breastfeeding experiences. Here’s a quick summary of my experience with each baby and how they were/are fed.
How Grace Was Fed
Gracie girl. My first born and, probably not coincidentally, the baby I had the hardest time with in terms of breastfeeding success. From the get-go, we struggled with latching. (I didn’t know this then, but in hindsight after learning more with Josephine, I believe Grace had a tongue tie that later resolved itself.) I often struggled with extremely raw/chapped (sometimes bleeding) nipples. Not surprisingly, I got mastitis multiple times.
Because of her latching issues, we started to use a bottle with breast milk in it more and more. It was just easier and she took to it better. Soon, Grace wouldn’t breastfeed from my breasts at all, so I began to pump exclusively. I produced *just* enough for her bottles, and wasn’t able to stock-pile extra. When I went back to work full time at 3 months, it was very hard to keep up with the pumping schedule, and my body started to wean itself. By 4 months, I was producing almost nothing and Grace was solely formula fed from that point on.
How Josephine Was Fed
From the get-go, I didn’t want to put a ton of pressure on myself to breastfeed if it wasn’t working well. I tried, and gave it my all, but kept experiencing similar issues with Josephine as I had with Grace. Constantly sore and bleeding nipples, a bout of mastitis, and clogged milk ducts. Overall, like Grace, she wasn’t able to latch well. After 5 weeks, I decided to give Josephine formula, and our surprise, she had an extreme anaphylactic allergic reaction. (Hives, diarrhea, trouble breathing.) We rushed her to the ER and found that she was allergic to dairy. (She was the youngest baby the doctors had ever seen with that type of reaction!)
This could be an entire post on its own, but her allergy was extremely stressful. As a result of it, we couldn’t give her normal formula, and so I went back to focusing on breastfeeding. I had a breastfeeding consultant come over to help me, and that was when she told me Josephine had a tongue tie. We visited an ENT who said they could do surgery, but it wasn’t necessary. I just didn’t feel right about it; she was so young. (I do want to note it’s a very easy procedure and plenty of people do it/have success!) Besides, I was going back to work soon, and Joey preferred bottles anyways (which were easy for her to eat from despite her tongue tie), so I decided to just pump exclusively, this time with a very strict schedule so my body didn’t begin to wean itself.
I cut out all dairy from my diet to accommodate Joey’s allergy, and pumped exclusively for 8 months while working, which I’m very proud of. (The key there was a VERY strict schedule in which I didn’t skip pump times!) But pumping so much while working was difficult, and I had a demanding schedule, and around the 8 month mark my body started to wean again. By 9 months Joey was on exclusively soy formula. (And I’m pleased to tell you she outgrew her dairy allergy around 1 year old!)
How Beau (So far!) Is Fed
From the get-go, Beau latched really well. So far, I haven’t had sore or chapped nipples, there’ve been no issues with mastitis, and my production is ample. He breastfeeds exclusively, only taking a small bottle of breastmilk in the morning with his daily vitamin D in it. We give him a daily bottle so that he practices and is able to take a bottle, but both he and I prefer breastfeeding. Honestly, it’s just easier! And I love that it’s our time together to cuddle and bond.
I’ve even been able to stock-pile lots of milk for the future! My routine is that every morning (when there’s the most milk in my breasts after a night’s sleep) I pump the extra milk after Beau eats. This has allowed for me to get a full bag of milk to freeze every 2 days.
At this point, I hope to breastfeed Beau for a year! We’ve gotten into a really great groove.
As you can see, every child I’ve had has been met with unique experiences regarding feeding.
Breastfeeding Beau has turned out to be wonderful, which was surprising to me! I planned to dust myself off and try again with him, but I didn’t expect for it to go well. I was actually dreading breastfeeding again. And here we are, 4 months in, enjoying it!? Life works in weird ways.
When I think about why breastfeeding is so different this time around, I believe it’s due to a few key factors.
First, I can’t ignore the fact that this isn’t my first rodeo. I honestly don’t think I’ve done anything differently in terms of breastfeeding — it’s really pretty straight forward in that you put the baby on your boob! — but rather my knowledge has increased.
I know what a proper latch is supposed to look and feel like. I understand the importance of supply and demand with breastfeeding, since your body essentially produces what your baby indicates that he/she needs. (Or, likewise, it’ll produce how much you direct it to as you pump.) I see how my personal choices such as what I’m eating, how much water I’m drinking, and the vitamins I’m taking impact milk supply. I am also more aware of tactics that help with breastfeeding and milk production. (More on that below!) All of that knowledge came through trial and error. Sure, I read tips and tricks for breastfeeding before, but there’s no greater teacher than reality and experience.
But perhaps one of the biggest factors, which has come as a surprise to me, is that I’ve personally found breastfeeding to be more of a partnership than I ever realized before.
In the past, I put so much pressure on myself with things like my milk production, and my babies latching correctly. I constantly felt like I was failing at “figuring it out.” But what I see now, especially with my experience with Beau being so different than before, is that a lot depends on the baby too! I see now that as much as I wanted to get Grace and Joey to latch perfectly — as hard as I tried — there was a big part that just had to click with them. And if they weren’t latching correctly, and thus not pulling out milk effectively, guess what? My supply wasn’t going to be great.
Looking back, there are of course reasons for why they weren’t latching correctly, or why my milk supply felt minimal, but I think the point here is that sometimes things are simply out of your control and it’s wise to seek help from a lactation consultant if that’s the case.
My Top 5 Breastfeeding Tips (After 3 Kids!)
With this being my third kid, I’ve picked up a few tips and tricks along the way that I believe have aided in my positive experience with breastfeeding Beau! While I’m certainly not an expert, here they are for your consideration as you navigate the often complex world that is breastfeeding.
Quantity matters
Establishing a strong milk supply from the get-go is so important! To do this, you need to continually tell your body to keep producing milk. This is done by having your baby remove milk — so have them feed as much as possible! I was basically constantly topless all the time the first few weeks and months with every kid, The more your baby feeds, the better! (Or, if you’re pumping, the more you pump the better!)
Of course, this means being able to breastfeed on demand! What’s been helpful here is a great breastfeeding cover — mine also doubles as a car seat cover! I use this almost daily because we’re often at the park or outside while Beau needs to feed. Having absorbent nursing pads and a supportive nursing bra also makes on-demand feeding so much easier!
Use a Haakaa
The Haakaa is the BEST under $15 purchase you could possibly make! I actually discovered this on a fluke. My sister-in-law gave me an unused one when she stopped breastfeeding, and I was hooked.
Basically, I put the Haakaa on the breast that Beau is not feeding from. It catches the letdown milk (which I then save!) and it also helps to draw out milk that otherwise would be sitting there if Beau doesn’t feed from both breasts in a sitting. I’ve found this to be effective in helping me to not get mastitis because there’s more continued flow of milk (less clogged ducts), it’s great to catch the let down milk, and it helps to promote more milk production from my body since it’s pulling out more than Beau normally would. Seriously, I think this amazing tool is the biggest game-changer!
Pay attention to your health and wellness
Mama’s health matters SO MUCH with breastfeeding. I definitely see a correlation with milk supply and my personal health. When I’m overtired, or when I don’t drink enough water, my milk supply is down. When I eat healthy foods, am hydrated, and am getting rest, I notice my supply is really ample.
Also, don’t forget your daily vitamin! I’ve taken Premama Vitamins and Garden of Life Organic Prenatal Vitamins, and recommend them both.
If there’s extra milk, pump it to promote continued extra milk
One routine that I got into and that I believe has really helped with my supply is pumping right after Beau’s last big feed of the day (usually not that much is pumped but it helps to fully drain the breast), and also right after his morning feed. In the morning, I will usually get between 3 – 6 ounces of extra milk to save for future use. I’ve been able to collect a nice stock pile with this strategy in place! But more importantly, this tells my body that all the milk it produces is needed, so it’ll keep producing that amount.
For a breast pump, I use the Medela Pump In Style Breast Pump and highly recommend! It’s also helpful to get breast milk storage bags — here’s the kind we use — to save whatever milk you express! I do have to note, however, that you don’t want to overproduce either; that could lead to additional complications. It’s a tricky balance, but for me, pumping twice a day seems to be the right balance.
Don’t supplement without expressing
Whether it’s breastmilk in a bottle, or formula, if you’re supplementing a feed in lieu of the breast, make sure you pump to keep milk production up. I really learned about the importance of keeping up with a continual schedule with Grace and Josephine — my body weaned itself when I wasn’t strict enough with pump times while at work. With Beau, I kept that in mind and made sure to pump if we ever gave him a bottle, which has helped to keep my milk supply strong. I do need to note that this of course has been easier since my situation has changed. (With Grace and Joey I was in an office environment, whereas with Beau I’m always at home with him.)
Fed Is Best
In closing, I want to stress a really important point. As mothers, we need to give ourselves grace. For some, breastfeeding is difficult. Others, it comes easy. Many choose not to breastfeed, or are unable to for a variety of reasons. Whatever the situation, at the end of the day, fed is best.
My babies have ranged from exclusively breastfed to exclusively formula fed, and you know what? They’ve all been happy and healthy. What really matters at the end of the day is that they’re getting great nutrition! There’s so much societal pressure nowadays and I think that’s a shame. It seems like you can never win. Every mother wants what’s best for her child and wants to do whatever they can to provide the best nutrition for them, no matter what that looks like. So, while I hope that these tips can help you, I also hope that they don’t put stress on you if breastfeeding isn’t working for you or you’ve chosen not to. <3
What has been your experience with breastfeeding? Any other tips that have worked for you? Leave them in the comments below!
PS – An Open Letter To Breastfeeding + Style Tips For Dressing Postpartum
