How To Teach Happiness

Sure, there were the signs and symptoms of pregnancy. Things like a growing belly, occasional bouts of nausea and happy thoughts of a growing family. But, to be honest, the reality of raising a baby didn’t settle in until more recently. As I progress in my third trimester, this sometimes-intimidating notion is becoming more and more real as the days inch closer to my due date. After all, raising a child is much different than growing one.

What kind of parent will I be? What kind of parent should I be? As I ponder thing like parenting styles, how to teach colors and ABCs, and what my child will be when she grows up, I can’t help but reflect on one very important and sole notion. Above all, I just want her to be happy.

Which is why, when I read an article about how Denmark is the home to the “happiest people on earth” I was intrigued.

What is it about Danish parenting that cultivates happiness in their population? How did they, as a collective society, reach such an impressive country-wide title for self-fulfillment? Mother Mag took it upon themselves to finding out their secrets through chatting with Jessica Alexander, co-author of The Danish Way of Parenting: A Guide To Raising The Happiest Kids in the World, who divulges in a new way of parenting that we should all take note of, whether or not we have kids.

Here are some of our favorite takeaways from the fascinating sit down.

• “Danish parents actively teach their children empathy and to value others. They base their success on real teamwork rather than only striving to be the star.”
• “Danes don’t over program their kids’ lives. Play is considered one of the most important things a kid can do (and learn from), even into high school. There is a big focus on the zone of proximal development, which means they respect children where they are at in their learning process and try to help them just enough so they don’t lose the joy in learning for themselves.”
• “Danes actively teach empathy in school, starting in pre-school. It is as important as teaching Math or English. They ‘keep it real.’ Everything doesn’t have to have a happy ending.”
• “Spanking became illegal in 1984 in Denmark. Danes use a diplomatic, avoiding ultimatums approach. As a result, they are a very non-violent culture.”

My takeaway? By focusing on empathy, teaching values without hindering the innocent playful nature that every kid possesses, and recognizing that how we were raised as a culture may have room for improvement, happiness can be cultivated in children.The article as a whole made me think a lot about what kind of parent I want to be, and how to handle important situations like discipline, teaching empathy in an effective way, and embracing playfulness. While there’s no parenting style that is the “right” one, I think the Danes are onto something.

I know I still have a lot to learn, but it’s safe to say that I know where to start. It’s with looking at generally happy people and cultures surrounding me, and exploring what factors have made them this way. I’d love to do my best to emulate these notions in my parenting style, because after all, what is life if it’s not filled with happiness?

If you’re interested in learning more and reading the in-depth interview, read the full article by Mother Mag here!