Ever think about what the secret to happiness is?
On our way home from Greece, I picked up a magazine I’d never heard of before. Flow. It’s European-based, and caught my eye because the cover explained that it was all about “Celebrating creativity, imperfection and life’s little pleasures,” which I was drawn to.
In it, I found an article – “A Different Kind of Happiness” – that spoke to me. It made the case that if we are continually searching for happiness, we often end up feeling dissatisfied. Going with the flow of life is what it’s all about.
Here are a few excerpts from the article that I thought were particularly powerful:
The Problem With “Happiness”
“Marketing eagerly encourages a consumerist impulse. Everywhere, coaches and motivational speakers seem to preach the gospel of happiness, telling us that we, too, can achieve it if we go to this workshop or read this book.”
“The marketing of happiness has brought with it a certain devaluation of the concept. Happiness has become something to own, something that you can buy.”
“Happiness has become a broad concept, and that makes it difficult to have a meaningful conversation about it. Because what are we really talking about? According to the Australian social psychologist Brock Bastian, many people pursue superficial pleasures in their search for happiness. “We are always looking for our next purchase, our next vacation, our next feel-good experience,” he says. “In the meantime, we try to fight off bad feelings as much as possible, because feeling rotten doesn’t fit into our collective idea of a happy life.” But with this approach to happiness we’re overshooting our target, because we actually need the bad feelings in order to be truly happy.”
How Happiness And Pain Go Hand In Hand
“Great victories are only great because they have been won at the expense of blood, sweat and tears; finding true love is overwhelming, because it makes us vulnerable; and holding a newborn baby for the first time is an intense moment of happiness for many parents, but it also brings sensations of fear, pain and insecurity.” In short: Happiness and pain go together. When we no longer give unpleasant feelings any room in our existence, life becomes flat and meaningless.”
The Meaning of Happiness
“The search for meaning is far more fulfilling than the pursuit of personal happiness.”
“Enjoyment is temporary and is caused by things from the outside. You can enjoy a delicious meal, a good movie, a promotion at work or a pair of new shoes. But at a certain moment that feeling wears away. Happiness is much more stable and has to do with a lifestyle, finding a spiritual balance in which you will flourish.”
“What is actually a good life, and therefore a happy life? The old philosophers felt that it had nothing to do with the base pursuit or pleasure. It is all about moderation, humanity and love. And also about justice, courage and purpose.“
“Are you having a bad day? Or are you depressed because your relationship ended or you lost your job? That’s part of life. Feelings come and go, but do not have to affect our happiness. The big question is: How do you deal with the things that happen to you? Because that’s where you can make a difference.“
I tend to have a happy disposition by nature, but who doesn’t need this type of reminder from time to time?
I sometimes find myself getting caught in the social media swirl of comparison or having feelings of jealousy while scrolling. Thinking, “If I just got to X, Y, and Z place with my business, I’ll be happy!” Feeling frustrated with my kids – or worse, yelling – over things that aren’t a big deal. Taking a bad day out on Doug. Moments of me that aren’t the best version of myself.
In those moments, I find great value in pausing and reminding myself to go with the flow. That it’s okay to feel the bad or negative emotions; they’re normal and natural. And, how I react to the bad — both situations beyond my control, and my personal impulses — is a conscious choice that needs to be practiced continually.
I suppose that, with the notion of happiness and pain going hand in hand, one could argue that the less-than-ideal parts of me help to make the good. That may be a stretch. Still, I do think that, when it comes down to it, going with the flow applies as much to a situation and others as it does to how you deal with yourself.
Most of all, it’s important for me to think about my purpose in life. To be honest, right now I feel my biggest purpose is fairly simple — I want to be a good person and to raise good people. A good wife, mother, and friend. One that leaves people feeling happier in their day through interactions with me, and that inspires through action.
Does that need to be more defined? Perhaps. I don’t know. Maybe? Maybe not.
I’m trying to go with the flow of it all. 😉
:: Outfit Details ::
Dress is the Virginia Dress, c/o Detroit’s own Good Neighbor. If you are in Detroit, you must swing by! They are located right near the Shinola Hotel and have an amazing selection of clothing
Sandals are past season ASOS. Shop similar finds here!
Hat is the Wide-Brim Packable Straw Hat from J.Crew. Have had this hat for years and love it. It keeps its shape even while traveling — it’s amazing!
Purse is Tory Burch – shop a similar version here.
In closing, I’d like to leave you with a beautiful quote – also from the Flow article – from Henry David Thoreau, an American writer & philosopher.
“Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will evade you. But if you notice the other things around you, it will gently come and sit on your shoulder.”
PS – 7 Tips For Productivity While Working From Home + A Piece Of Advice To Live Life Sunny Side Up
