I can’t tell you how many times I’ve written and re-written this post.
No words have felt right – even as I’m about to press “Publish” they still don’t – and yet I know that speaking imperfectly is so much better than not speaking at all. I hope that talking openly and honestly about important issues like racism and white privilege can inspire action from others. My journey is just beginning and I’m by no means an expert, but I’ve seen the power of this amazing online community coming together to drive change and I believe that – influencer or not – everyone should be speaking out against injustice and using their voice.
Over the past week, I paused all posting and focused my Instagram Stories on amplifying Black voices. The purpose was to create more space for Black voices to be heard, while taking the time to focus on education and resource sharing. To listen. What came of all that learning and listening was the realization that I have SO MUCH MORE to learn. This will be lifelong work; the kind where you never “arrive.”
Below, I share the at-times messy and hurtful truth of my personal journey toward seeing racism and the systems that have been deeply embedded within our country with new eyes. Is it uncomfortable, painful and embarrassing? Yes. It should be. Those feelings are important first steps in the progress toward being a better ally and taking action against injustice. I also share what my action steps are for moving forward. This isn’t just a trend, and it’s vital for us all to work together to ensure change happens. I’m committed to being better, and I sincerely hope that those reading who are white are too.
Black Lives Matter.
Louder for those in the back: Black. Lives. Matter.
If you’re Black, I want to start by saying I’m deeply sorry. I’m sorry for thinking I was an ally, when really I wasn’t even scratching the surface. And I’m sorry it took me so long. I’m sorry for not *truly* listening before, despite the Black community speaking up about issues and making them abundantly clear. I’m sorry for all the injustice you’ve faced. And I’m sorry for the ways that I was a part of it without even realizing it. I’m sorry for being so naive. And I want to you to know that I am wholeheartedly committed to change.
The past few weeks have been heavy, emotional, and eye-opening. Life changing. A wake up call — the kind that I didn’t know I needed. The murders of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and countless others by police force is heartbreaking and sickening. It’s terrible that it took lives to bring awareness to the deeply-rooted issues of racism in our society. It horrifies me that it took this situation for so many of us to see how important our role in societal change is.
Standing up for equality and justice ESPECIALLY for those who have been oppressed is not a political issue but a human rights one. What’s been made so clear to me is that it’s not enough to not be racist — I must be actively ANTI-racist. As a privileged community, whites haven’t done enough to support anti-racism on every front. This must change.
Black Lives Matter
Change starts with each of us as individuals.
There I was, thinking I’m some sort of progressive thinker. Thinking I was “woke.” Does any of the below sound familiar?
I was taught to love all people, and that the most important trait is to be kind. I have multicultural friends and mixed-race family members. I’ve done things like buying Black baby dolls and books with Black heroes for my girls to help celebrate differences. I’ve sought out and participated in organizations because I loved their diversity. I regularly donate to important causes. “I’m a good person, try hard to see others without judgement, and thus there’s no way I could be a part of the problem.”
I recognized that the color of my skin meant I had an advantage, but I suppose didn’t realize the extent of my white privilege. I thought I was doing enough, when really I wasn’t even scratching the surface.
I’m grateful to have learned that I was wrong.
This realization has been perhaps the toughest part of it all — the mere fact that I thought I wasn’t a part of the problem, meant that I indeed was a huge part of the problem. This is deeply uncomfortable and it hurts, as it should.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how it’s possible that so many in the white community were blind to things like systemic racism, implicit bias, and the extent of our white privilege, to name a few. There’s much more learning I need to do to unpack this, but to start, I think it’s because in our communities, these issues haven’t been properly addressed.
I think another huge reason is that our understanding of racism has been far too limited. When white people talk about “Racists,” it’s largely in regards to the terrible people involved with the KKK or who actively tried to oppress people of color. When white people talk about “Privilege” it’s largely associated with money. Complex racial topics haven’t been an integral part of our education – in the home or at school – and they’re certainly not objectively discussed.
It wasn’t in our face, so many of us have had blinders on.
I say all this not to give an excuse whatsoever — but I do think part of helping to solve issues is to address their roots. Reflecting on the question of “HOW did we get here?” is important for us all in beginning to make vital changes to the question, “WHAT DO WE DO to help solve this?”
To help those who may just be starting on this journey, here’s a great video on systemic racism.
And, below are some videos with explanations on white privilege.
And, here’s a great post to scroll through.
On a personal level, I see now how I’ve played into it all. I’ve benefitted from my education and career, applauding myself for how hard I’ve worked, without even questioning how and if the cards have been stacked in my favor. How many times have I heard someone say a racist comment — a “joke” — that was met with silence from me instead of speaking up? I’ve been a proponent of being more mindful of sustainability efforts without even recognizing that climate change affects Black and Brown communities disproportionately. I’ve naively (and even harmfully) oversimplified solutions by saying things like, “I believe everyone should just be kind to everyone!” AND I’ve never thought to question where my own subconscious biases and the system with which I’ve grown accustomed affects people of color.
My upbringing and white view of the world has put a literal veil over my eyes. I have a lot of work to do to learn, unlearn, and change — lifelong work — that will never be done.
I’m by no means an expert here, and I don’t claim to be one. I’m only scratching the surface of my personal work. I hope that by sharing my personal experience and truth with my wake up call, that I can encourage you to do the same. After all….
It’s a privilege to be learning about racism instead of experiencing it.
Inherently, this is what I failed to see. I must do anti-racist work not because I’m a bad person or have ill intent toward people of color; I must do anti-racist work because, though change starts at an individual level, it’s whole heartedly not about me. It’s about standing up for a community that’s been oppressed. It’s about making the necessary personal changes to help stand for and drive real change. And it’s about listening to the perspectives, stories, and knowledge of the Black community. It’s about showing empathy. It’s about taking ACTION by doing things like donating. Signing petitions, and voting. It’s about educating myself and my family. And it’s about celebrating and supporting Black voices, businesses, and creators.
If you’re just starting out on this journey, welcome!
I honestly had no idea where to begin when I first started to dive in, so I’d like to offer up this amazing Google document that’s filled with recommendations. (Not making my own as I’m not an expert, and there are so many well done ones out there from people of color that we should be focused on!) I’m currently reading “White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard To Talk To People About Racism” by Robin Diangelo, and even though I’m only halfway through, it’s been one of the most influential books I’ve read in my entire life. I have a host of books on the docket to read, movies to watch, and TED talks to view and I’m looking forward to continually doing this work far beyond when it’s trending.
Speaking of what I continually plan to do, I thought it’d be important to share my personal action items and plan for the way forward! If you have additional suggestions, I’m absolutely open and would love to hear! But first, check out the below video. This video went viral this week, for great reason.
Here’s all the ways I plan on continuing my work on being anti-racist & a better ally to people of color.
Continuing Education & Listening
Our work doesn’t stop with the trending hashtag. This is lifelong work that will never be over. Listening to Black voices, reading books by Black authors, and focusing on educating myself and my family is such an important part of change. I’m dedicated to learning, unlearning, and continuing forward. There is no going back.
Having Tough Conversations With Those Around Me
This is such an important part of progress! We all need to be speaking openly with one another; the fear of saying something wrong has paralyzed us. (Note: It’s NOT the job of the Black community to educate whites.) We all need a safe space to share knowledge and discuss solutions, and this starts with the relationships that surround us. I will be diving deep with those around me; to have the tough conversations I glossed over before. I will no longer be afraid of speaking up.
Raising My Children To See & Celebrate Color
I believe my biggest work is in the home. It’s within my power to raise children that are kind and compassionate. Who celebrate individuals for their differences. Who understand that indeed they are white, and thus they have an advantage in society, which comes with a responsibility to continually do the right thing and stick up for those who don’t. This is done through having tough conversations about race with my children. It’s done through them watching our interactions and efforts with others. It’s also done through celebrating people of color, whether through reading books by Black authors, watching movies with Black heroes, or supporting Black businesses, to name a few!
Pushing Our Education System To Be Involved
As I reflect on my upbringing and how I’d like to push change for my kids and our community, I think that they’d benefit from age-appropriate conversations at school. Of course, this all starts at home, but it can’t end there.
I received an email from Michigan State University, my alma-mater, noting their steps for advancing campus and community awareness of diversity, equity and inclusion. One thing they’re doing is to begin mandatory diversity and anti-bias education and development for all students, faculty and staff. I do think this is a great first step; I wish they had this when I went there. All this got me thinking about education’s role in all this. I think it’s actually bigger than what I’ve heard talked about, especially for young kids who are so pure-hearted and impressionable. Why aren’t we teaching age-appropriate lessons about empathy, bias, equity, and inclusion from the beginning?!
It’s not there currently. So, I’m pushing for it. I’ve sent emails to their school principles, asking how they’re planning to address these important topics with the kids. I’ve volunteered to brainstorm ideas or even start a committee. My next step is to reach out to the school board, asking the same questions and pushing for the same action. I’m committed to seeing this through and helping to drive long term education change in our local system.
Supporting Black-Owned Businesses, Voices & Creators
So, so important. Where we put our dollars is a huge part of what we support. Moving forward, I will be more mindful about supporting Black-owned businesses, voices, and creators. This naturally will manifest in many ways — from the outfits I wear, to the books I read, and creators I share on Instagram Stories. Please feel free to send suggestions along as you discover new amazing people, accounts, businesses and creators, too!
Voting
This year has been a huge wake up call in so many ways, and one of those ways for me is seeing just how deep of an affect our local & state government has on our lives. I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve always voted in the primaries, but I haven’t paid much attention to local elected officials. That’s changing, starting now.
Donating
There are so many amazing organizations doing important work in fighting for justice! Last week I donated to Black Lives Matter, Black Visions Collective, and Campaign Zero. I will be regularly seeking out new justice-focused initiatives to help support, and I encourage you to do the same!
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In closing, I want to say how much I believe in the power of humanity. We are capable of change, and we are better when we work together. I am committed to being better and doing better, today and every day moving forward.
