If there’s a perfect day to talk about love and romance, today is it, no?!
Happy Valentine’s Day! I’m so excited to be partnering with Casey of DIY Playbook today as we tackle all things marriage + pregnancy. If you don’t know Casey, you must swing by her blog and give her a follow! We met waaaay back when I lived in Chicago and have been blogger buddies since. She writes about all things DIY projects, home renovation, and styling, and also happens to be a fellow mama-to-be! We thought it’d be fun to partner up and tackle the topic of keeping the romance alive during pregnancy as we’re both knee-deep in this wild pregnancy journey.
5 Tips For Keeping The Romance Alive During Pregnancy
Pregnant or not, here’s the thing that I’ve learned after 5 years of marriage and 14 years of being together: “Romance” is something that goes far beyond the physical.
In fact, I would go as far as saying that most of romance is found in things outside of anything physical. Which is great because, during a time in life when your body is putting important focus toward growing a human being, there’s a lot on the brain, right?! “Romance” isn’t top of the list with the host of anticipation, worry, preparation, and physical changes happening throughout the pregnancy journey!
Today, I’m excited to share some of the ways that Doug and I have “kept the romance alive” in our relationship, particularly while being pregnant. Not that we’re relationship experts, by any means! But I do think that after being together for so long, we’ve learned a lot along the way, and with now having three pregnancies under our belt, we’ve definitely picked up on ways to help prioritize our relationship and keep it healthy during this time of life when unique challenges arise. (Pregnancy is such a JOY of course, but let’s face it, it’s also very tough sometimes!)
One note before diving in: I’m leaving all things physical off the table for this post, because that’s such a personal topic, preferences are so varied, and that’s honestly not something I’m comfortable sharing in this space. Keeping it PG! I know you understand. 😉 Here we go!
Make Time For Dates
This is something that we try to prioritize in general, but it’s so important especially with a baby on the way and two little girls in tow!
One-on-one time can be a rare thing to have with Doug. It truly needs to be prioritized and something we specifically make time for. We try really hard to have at least one date night a month where we go out with just the two of us. No other plans and no other intentions other than to be together. We’ve found that it really does make a difference in our connection; we have fun, talk the whole time, and come home refreshed and reconnected. Of course, there are a thousand little moments (see below!) throughout the day to connect, too! But it’s just different when you spend a few hours of devoted time to that one person.
Embrace The Little Moments
Remember when I talked about how most of life is actually a collection of small, every day moments? This definitely applies to any relationship, too!
Life can get crazy and sometimes it does feel like we’re ships passing in the night, which is probably an unavoidable truth of the the season of life we’re in. But, I think what helps are the little moments that happen where you essentially say to that person, “Hey, I love you, and I’m here.”
It’s chatting over a cup of coffee together while we’re getting ready, giving a kiss whenever someone comes home or says goodbye, and saying, “I love you” every day. Spending lots of time on weekends doing nothing with our family, or running errands/going on outings. Just little, everyday moments that are made sweet and special by sharing them together!
Give Acts Of Kindness
Hand in hand with the little moments above, going out of the way to do little acts of kindness is so important!
I have to give Doug credit here as he’s taught me so much about the art of giving selflessly to your significant other with little acts of kindness. He does the dishes after I’ve cooked dinner, regularly throws in a load of laundry, and cleans out the car just because. He’ll make me hot lemon tea after the girls go to bed because he knows it’s my favorite, and at night as I’m wrapped around my pregnancy pillow – often in discomfort – he’ll rub my feet.
Those little things – that really are quite big – are thoughtful, considerate and sweet, and I definitely try to do the little things that I know he’ll appreciate right back! Those little moments help to create a cycle of niceness that makes us both feel loved.
Practice Understanding & Open Communication
Pregnancy can be a wild ride, especially when you consider all that the body is doing. And let’s face it, the hormones can be the icing on the cake of that roller coaster! This is a bit of my internal anxiety revealing itself, but honestly, there are some days when I’m just in a mood and have a hard time snapping out of it. (I’m not the only one, right?!)
In those scenarios, I’ve found that just being open with myself and Doug/our family is best. If I’ve been a bit of a brat (GAH I hate that but it does happen) and then I realize it, I will literally say, “It’s not you, it’s me. I’m sorry. I’m trying hard to snap out of it. Give me a moment.” And you know what? He’s usually SO NICE and understanding, which almost immediately makes me feel better, and then all of a sudden I’m like, “I LOVE YOU I’M SORRY COME HERE FOR A BIG HUG!!” (See? Hormonal roller coaster. Ha!)
Take A Babymoon
For every pregnancy, we’ve made sure to prioritize taking a little trip together. With Grace, we went to Captiva Island and Miami. With Josephine, California. And with baby #3, we went to Denver! We’ve found that taking a babymoon is such a great way to unwind, relax, and of course connect before the craziness of newborn days arrive. It’s important time that’s dedicated just to us, and I can’t recommend it enough if you’re pregnant! Each babymoon has brought special memories and is such necessary/important time together before life turns upside down. 😉
I know all of this advice is pretty simple, but I really do think that these tips have helps us to keep the romance alive during pregnancy. (And beyond, of course!) Overall I think it’s important to recognize that pregnancy — and all the nerves, preparation, and physical changes that come with it — can be a really crazy and challenging time for us both. I really believe that the more we can practice working on the very important foundation that brought us here in the first place, the better. <3 Be sure to swing by Casey’s post over at DIY Playbook to show her some and and to read her take on this topic!
What are your tips for keeping the romance alive during pregnancy? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!
