If you came here for proclamations about how 2018 went by too fast, or a list of resolutions (which will come in another post), you aren’t going to find them here. It’s not that those reflections aren’t important or true, mind you. It’s just that I’m set on approaching the new year with a different mentality.
One that’s appreciative of the time that’s past, rather than questioning its pace. That looks at hindsight with the best perspective possible: 20:20. One that is committed to taking that perspective and entering the year ahead with insights gained.
I’m a firm believer that our greatest life asset is time. Time is limited, coveted, and gives us experiences. However, it’s up to us to take those and turn them into wisdom.
And so with that, I’m approaching 2019 in phases. First, I’m looking back in order to learn. Next, I’m defining all that I hope for 2019 to be. Then, I’m developing a plan for how to make it all happen.
This post is about that first area:
Looking back to move forward. And – wow – what a year it was. 2018 turned out to be a year of massive transition.
Here are a few of the most notable transitions that happened for us: After a decade of living in Chicago, we moved our family to Detroit. I officially left my corporate job to pursue blogging and launch my creative consulting business. I completed a half marathon. We traveled. Doug started a new job. Josephine turned one, started walking/talking, and outgrew her dairy allergy. Grace turned three. Doug and I have grown immensely as parents, while learning how to manage two very active toddlers. We were a part of a massive house renovation, and eventually moved into our home at the end of October.
Honestly, we’re still adjusting to it all.
Of course, with all those transitions and accomplishments came a lot of learning. Here are some personal reflections that stand out while looking back at 2018, and the wisdom that I’m taking into the year ahead.
Life Lessons I Learned This Year
On Relationships + Wellness + Personal Growth
Where you’re at is where you’re supposed to be.
In literally every example that I can think of, in every area of life, where I was at
You’re not for everyone.
It’s impossible to be! And attempting to be will dilute yourself. This is true for everything from blogging, to how you choose to spend time, and what you say “Yes” to. Be confident, don’t stretch yourself too thin, embrace those that have positive intent, and hold your head high. You are enough just as you are – even if others disagree with the who, what, when, where or why of your decisions.
Don’t compare yourself to highlight reels online.
My presence online is not a view
Be present.
Just to emphasize the above. Life is lived offline. Turning off technology is healthy and necessary. You don’t need to apologize or feel bad for it.
The “who” in your life is so much more important than the “what”
This year was filled with so much change — job transitions, moving, starting new day cares/schools, and lots of personal things, too — and one thing that I’m proud we always did was prioritize our family and each other over everything else. It’s really all that matters, at the end of the day.
Make a goal. Go after it.
This year, I was so proud to get back into shape after having kids, and I even ran my first half marathon in 10 years. I made a goal for
On Parenthood
Children emulate what we show them.
They are little sponges who soak up everything. How we talk to others, how we talk to them, and even how we interact and engage with everyone from family to strangers, is so important in the teachings of our children. I’ve found that Grace and Josephine’s actions and reactions are often a direct result of what we have shown and demonstrated, whether directly or indirectly. They’re always watching and taking in their surroundings. (Which is why I’ve found it so important to disconnect from technology frequently, treat others with kindness, and prioritize quality time together!)
Being empathetic is important.
“Grace, knock it off! Put the crayons away. Listen to Mommy!” is met much differently than, “Grace, I understand that crayons are lots of fun and we want to play with them. We can color tomorrow, but right now it’s time to get ready for bed, so Mommy would really appreciate it if you can help to clean up.” There was a time period where Grace and I were in constant battle, and then I had a light bulb moment which made me realize that my reactions may be the issue. I read something that noted keeping empathy and explanation (over demands without context) at the top of mind is helpful. Embracing that notion really turned out to be a game changer.
Love is an evolution. As is every person.
The love for my children grows as they do. Their personalities are so different; every day I find new, unique things to love about them. I used to think that a mother’s love is automatic, but now I see that a mother’s love is a growth experience that ripens with time. It’s a beautiful, special love and process that I can’t help but reflect on and feel so lucky for experiencing. All this has led me to really embrace their individuality, and think about how I can be a better parent, sometimes differently according to their unique stage of life or needs. It’s also all made me realize that, though I’m not a perfect parent and learn every day, the fact that I love them unconditionally and would do anything for them is perfect enough.
Always, always trust your gut.
Every time I’ve had a weird gut instinct about something, it’s usually right. I’ve learned to listen to it more. If something feels off, it probably is.
Appreciate where you’re at.
Josephine started to walk
On Career
Go after your passion.
One of the biggest things I’ve learned this year is that going after your passion will never fail you. I’ve had massive learning curves, and have been surprised at the road that’s unfolded as I go down this path, but not once have I regretted diving into blogging and consulting. And, now that I’m starting to see momentum in key areas, I am so hopeful that this path will continue to provide many fruits beyond what I even know now.
Rome wasn’t built in a day.
not known for my patience. When I dove into blogging and launching my consulting business in October, I had a lot of expectations on where I’d be at the end of the year. As December approached, I was increasingly frustrated with how much I had envisioned happening that didn’t pan out. Instead of looking at all that I had done, I was focusing on all that I hadn’t. In hindsight, I see that this was an unproductive use of mental energy, and it was also not fair to myself. I was placing expectations of progress onto myself that were not even realistic. In 2019, I’m going to be smarter about my growth definition and expectations!
Communicate, communicate, communicate.
The power of communication is so important in business and in life. Particularly when I was in corporate, projects ran much more smoothly when I went the extra mile in communication. Things like being proactive with looping others in, managing up, clarifying expectations, and even doing the tedious work like summarizing conversation or meetings in recaps was essential for completing work in a productive and time efficient manner. This has shown to be true outside of corporate as well!
People do business with people.
So don’t be a jerk! You will get much further being nice, open to ideas, and someone who’s reliable for others in the work environment.
Growth can come to life in different forms. But it doesn’t mean that it’s not there.
When I think of my first months in entrepreneurship, I see that I was going through massive growth, just not in the areas I thought. I was frustrated by my lack of monetary growth, but I see now that I needed to personally get a lot of my ducks in a row first and foremost. Things like learning to properly time manage and facilitate all aspects of
Be open to networking.
I used to be that person who was like, “Gah, who has time to go to coffee?!” and would often politely pass when someone reached out. Now, I’m in the much different and humbling position of living in a place where I’m in many ways starting from scratch both personally and professionally. I’ve reached out to a lot of people and have invited them to coffee or lunch, in efforts to network, make new friends, and build a community here. Many of those outreach efforts have received no response.
I get it. But, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the people who have said “Yes.” Of course, life happens, we’re all busy, and you can’t say yes to everything. But, I can tell you that after this experience, I will be saying yes to professional networking much more because I’m so grateful to those who have said it to me so far while here.
Another year gone by always means another year wiser. I see the passing of time as one of the greatest blessings of all. Aren’t we lucky?
What did you learn in 2018? Would love to hear in the comments below!
PS – Why I’m No Longer Afraid of a Little Sass + How Has Your Life Come Full Circle? + A Reminder To Chase The Light
2 comments
I love this post! Very insightful and full of positive reflection! Thank you Emily!
What an awesome post! It all spoke to me but the thing that stood out most was your communication paragraph! It’s literally the most important thing in every area of life!